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A List Of Inventions

The following is my personal list of inventions I am waiting to see produced. Invent these and you'll have at least one customer.

1. An air conditioned jacket. One hot day I experimented and found that the fan didn't cool me nearly as well when I was shirt-less as when I wore a jacket or shirt and let the fan blow into it. This sent the cooling breeze all around my torso and arms (the air escapes out the bottom, collar and sleeves). A jacket with a battery-operated fan would do the same thing. Add a wet t-shirt underneath and the circulating air would make it downright chilly in there.

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2. A currency sanitizer. Bacteria, viruses and more are spread by the handling of bills. A simple machine that used heat or a disinfecting agent, could make those bills safe to handle.

3. New soles for hiker's feet. Backpackers get blisters on their feet from friction. Feet move in shoes, parts of the shoe rub on the feet, and "hot spots" develop, eventually becoming blisters. A solution? Insoles glued to the bottom of your feet. Make them of felt or some other material, and provide a solvent for easy removal. Maybe they could be reused, gluing and removing repeatedly, the way dentures are used.

4. Morbid soft drinks. For those who like the darker side of things, why not have soft drinks with plastic animal embryos in them? Make the embryos too large to come out of the bottle, to prevent choking.

5. Padded snow sleds. Sledding is often painful and dangerous. One solution may be to fully pad a sled, and provide some kind of safety harness, so even after flipping over the rider can remain uninjured.

6. TV goggles. We use headphones to listen to music wherever we go, so why not have goggles that have a television screen inside them?

7. Comedic insult toilet paper. Who would you want to use in that way and flush down the toilet? Politicians would be well represented on the list of faces printed on this toilet paper.

8. Mini poetry books. These tiny books would be attached to bottles of wine, as a romantic novelty. They could also be included with bouquets of roses, and boxes of chocolates.

9. Kites propulsion for boats. Sail boats are complicated, with masts, booms, and keels. Want a simple way to propel your canoe or rowboat across that lake, using the wind? A large kite could do the trick. Make it like a para-sail, so it will be light to carry and simple to use.

(Of course, this is a partial list of inventions I want to see made. Among the many more things I am waiting for, are flying bicycles and in-the-home grocery stores.)

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