Why argue about politics or other matters? In theory we can convince the other person of our viewpoints. It isn’t a common event though, is it? And even if we do win that “victory,” is it possible that we lose something too? Let me explain…

One man says that business needs to be heavily regulated and taxed for the good of society. Another says that this leads to less economic growth and therefore more poverty. They each have their arguments and make them, setting them more firmly in their minds as they do battle. No minds are changed, as is common in such circumstances.

Had each actually allowed for the possibility that the other saw something real, they might have found common ground and new understandings. Perhaps the first knew of massive corruption in corporations, the cost of which was passed on to taxpayers. The second may have learned something new, and then pointed out that much of the corruption was actually due to regulations that favored corporations, teaching the other to see from another perspective.

We argue from what we see, and since we generally continue to “see” different evidence from our own experiences, nobody wins. On the other hand if I shut up and listen to what you have to say, my mind might become more powerful with the addition of your ideas and knowledge. There is no guarantee this will happen, but I know that it rarely happens from listening to my own ideas over and over, right? Paying attention to what the other person is saying is the better way to learn and to increase the power of one’s thinking.

Why argue? What does it accomplish? Here are some more questions to ponder:

1. How often have you actually changed a person’s mind through direct ideological confrontation and argument?

2. When you hear a position you disagree with, do you normally start arguing against it or do you first ask the person why he or she holds the position, and what evidence they have?

3. When is the last time you listened to an someone explain something that was contradictory to a strong belief of yours–without arguing or ignoring them?

4. Certainly there are times when arguing is appropriate, so when are these times?