We tend to think of “lessons” as something that we are taught in a classroom or a book. Meanwhile the most valuable lessons that life offers are often disparaged as “struggles,” “bad experiences,” “inconveniences,” or just plain “problems.” With this in mind, why not treat such problems as though they are happening for a reason? The lessons we are currently being taught by our fighting cats, for example, are worth something if we pay attention.

We recently got a cat from the local shelter. Previously we “stole” a neighbor’s cat (or did it adopt us?), and after the owners of that one refused to sell it but agreed that it could live here half the time (or 90% of the time as it turns out), we wanted a less precarious pet relationship (they may be moving in a few months). The two cats do not get along yet, though after two days they are starting to get used to each other.

When Jack (our neighbor’s cat) saw Opie (the new cat), he cried like a baby, which was strange and sad. Soon he began to stalk Opie and attack him. Opie just wanted to be friends, and sometimes approached Jack despite his obvious fear. Jack’s response was to attack. This was our opportunity to learn lessons in love and patience.

You see, part of us wants to ascribe our human standards to animals. We see poor Opie walk up to Jack innocently, just to say hello, and Jack attacks him, which we feel is “cruel,” and “unfair.” It would be easy to get angry, especially after losing a night or two of sleep from Jack’s hours-long complaint sessions (meowing). Fortunately we don’t let this feeling get the better of us, though. We just break up the fights, maybe with a squirt of water, but we don’t indulge in anger.

Jack is just upset because of the change, and jealous of his territory, and – despite his agression – clearly afraid of the other cat at times. These are all natural reactions of an animal working from a very limited and reactive mind. He doesn’t understand that he’s doing something wrong, so we cannot “blame” him. We stop the fight, give him some love, and things get better. They even ate from the same food dish at the same time on day three – something which seemed impossible on the first day.

The lessons for us humans are not about theory, but lessons learned by practice. If we pay attention we discover that it doesn’t help to get upset and yell at uncomprehending animals. We did put Jack outside immediately following the more viscious attacks, and this consequence seems to have taught him to stop attacking so much, but any displays of anger would have only made him more resentful of the other cat. If we are willing in such situations, we learn to observe carefully and act more wisely than our sleep-deprived reactive minds would have us do.

In addition to practicing observational skills, patience and love, I want to suggest another lesson that might be gained here. Why not see if what we learn from cats can be applied to humans? Is it possible that people who we get angry with are ignorant of how wrong their actions are? Is it possible they’re living from a limited and reactive mind, and although – unlike cats – they have the ability to rise above it, they don’t yet know how? Is there a wiser, more productive way we can approach the “sins” of others than with anger and moral condemnation?

I think there are some life lessons to be learned here.

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